AU Sans Comedies
by ILoveVaatiWindMage
Summary: I put the AU Sanses in funny situations. Cover artwork by HetaliaxJapan09
1. How cause a multi-AU war

Nightmare, Dream, Swap (or Blueberry, you may call him), Ink, PaperJam, Fresh, and I (Error) stood in front of a broken coffee machine on the table. "So," I said, "Who broke it?" Silence. "I'm not mad. I just want to know." More silence.

"I did it," admitted Swap, "I broke th-"

"No," I interrupted, "No, you didn't. Dream?"

"Don't look at me!" he said, "Look at Ink."

"What?" asked Ink, "I didn't break it."

"Huh?" replied Dream, "That's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?"

"Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken."

"Suspicious…"

"No it's not-"

"If it matters…" Fresh interrupted, "Probably not but, PJ was the last one to use it."

"Mr. Fresh!" yelled PaperJam, "I don't drink that junk!"

"Oh, really?" said Fresh, "Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?"

"I was using the wooden stirrers to push back my somethings! Everyone knows that, Mr. Fresh!"

"Ok, let's not fight!" yelled Swap, "I broke it! Lemme pay for it… run."

"NO!" I yelled, "WHO BROKE IT!?"

Silence.

"Dream…" whispered Ink, "Nightmare's been awfully quiet..."

"REALLY!" yelled Nightmare.

"Well, yeah, really!"

"Oh my gosh!" Within a few seconds everyone started arguing.

"I'm gonna kill you!"

"Dude, I'm sorry!"

"Guys, stop fighting!"

Truthfully, I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they'll be at each other's throats with more pain on their faces than a pig head on a stick.

I

I

I

I

I

I

Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.


	2. Geno talks-The Ice Cream

(For the record this bit is inspired by Sr Pelo and is told from the POV of Geno or Aftertale Sans)

Here where I live, there is a place we are going to call DAIRY KING and they sell ice creams. I always bought the big size covered ice creams. Well, no big because there is no big size ice creams but I always get an extra ball. BUT ONE DAY, I was greeted by a guy and next to him was the manager. A FAAAAAAAAAAAT GIRL. I am not saying I am skinny, flipping starving, but she was a FAAAAAAAAAAAT GIRL. A DANG, DANG FAT GIRL. But she had a good face for hiding the- THE DAAAANG FAAAA-.

I asked for my ice cream and she gave it to me, but she didn't put chocolate!...on the last ball. And I was like, "and this? Why didn't you put chocolate here?"

"Because it's not like that."

"and why is it not like that?"

"Because we don't gift chocolate."

I was looking at her and I said, "don't serve me again you flipping fat aleck." and I went the flip out.

So I was talking with my brothers and I said, "hey, this girl served me bad."

"ohhhhhh," says Fresh, "it could be a rule."

"NOOOO! WHAT RULE?! THEY DIDN'T SERVE ME LIKE THAT BEFORE! NOW LOOK AT THIS! WHAT IS THIS? THIS IS NOT AN ICE CREAM! WHAT IS THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-?!"

But in the other Dairy King, there is a good service. So I ask them and they said, "Oooh, it's her problem."

Then I went to my house and I told my brothers, "hey, there is a good service in the other one." And suddenly my big brother Error appears and says, "STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT THAT *******G ICE CREAM! STOP YOUR BU******!"

And I said, "NO MY ICE CREAM! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!"

The other day arrived… I went to the same store I was greeted by a girl and the freaking dang fat aleck wasn't there. When they are putting the chocolate on the ice cream, they are whispering to each other and I said, "what did you say to him?" and they stare at me, "did you say what I think you said? Don't cover the last ball!"

"Well...well, yes. We shouldn't cover the last ball."

"BUT WHY?! BUT WHY?! IT'S JUST A *******G BALL ON THE ICE CREAM AEAUEAUEAUAEAUE-!"

And then a human came. I think they were the boss of the manager of the employees. He was the only one with striped clothes. Then I said, "listen, they are giving me a bad service."

"Ok, look, if you see right here… here, here. It's just three balls of chocolate. And you are buying an extra one so we don't cover that one."

And I said, "but I'm buying a covered ice cream."

"But it's like that."

And I said, "ahhhhhhh, you *******g striped ******le. THAT'S WHY YOU WEAR STRIPES! STARVED *******G STRIPE! YOU *******G STRAH!" I go back to my house and I say to myself, "ahh, gosh darn it. Now what am I going to do?" Then I remember something. My mom! For some weird reason, if someone needs to argue, and the mom is there, she helps ya. So I approached my mom, Crayon Queen, and I told her, "hey mommy, their service is bad."

"WT*?! Stop your bu******! Are you complaining for an ice cream?!" and I told her everything and she decided to go with me and I was like, "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!"

That day arrived, we went to the ice cream store and we ask for our ice cream, but when the guy was covering the ice cream, the… THE FAT GIRL! She was smelling, smelling how she was losing chocolate, so she came out, (insert table abuse here) "HEY DON'T PUT CHOCOLATE EUEUEUEUEU!" (insert some table abuse here) AND I SAW THAT! I SAW THAT! AND I SAID, "BU******!" and he gave us the ice cream. My mom said, "Hey hey hey, it's not all covered."

"Well they just told me that…" AND THE FAT GIRL APPEARS! (table abuse) "EAUEAUEAUEAUEAUE!"

"HEY YOU ******G *****LE THIEF! WHY DON'T YOU PUT THE CHOCOLATE IN YOUR A-!?" But my mom, she shouted at me because I was going to yell. "Shut up! I'll talk! Hey, I am buying an ice cream with chocolate."

"Oh, yes. But we put it with every ounce!"

"But you are charging us more money."

"YEAH YOU ******G THIE-!"

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"

"yes mommy..." AND BECAUSE SHE'S AN *****LE SHE COVERED IT ALL WRONG!

"They give you chocolate like that?"

"They GAVE the chocolate you ******G **S FACE!"

"My partners are doing it wrong!"

"Well, thank you SO MUCH!"

"Oh, thank you to YOU TOO!"

"GO ***K YO MOMYUSGBYUDOHNSKL-!"

And we went to the car. "SEE?! SHE'S AN *****LE!"

"A ******G *****LE!"

"ALWAYS PUTTING IN THE ******G *****LE!"

"WHAT?! WHY ARE YOU TAKING CARE OF THE OWNERS **S?!"

"(insert ultimate anger here)"

-FIN


End file.
